Category Archives: England is Funny

More Fun with Town Names

Posted on by

I caught this weather report back in November, when it was especially rainy.

Naturally, I could not resist the hilarity that is the town names of  Mumbles and Dunkeswell.

This posted the question of where these places are, and much to our surprise, Mumbles looks gorgeous- at least according to this website.

I think it may be our first car trip, once I get my license!

Premier League…

Posted on by

!I don’t know what’s worse:

  • That we saw “Live Premier League…” in the Sky TV Guide, thought football (soccer) was on, selected the program, and learned that the program was, much to our horror, “Premier League Darts” (Burn!)
  • That a repeat of Premier League Darts is shown in HD on Sky Sports while there’s plenty of Vancouver Olympics to be shown. Surely, somewhere in Vancouver, there’s Luge in progress?

FYI: Drinking during competition was banned by the British Darts Organization in the late 80s.

Hi-Viz: The Mantle of Health & Safety I

Posted on by

Hi-Viz Emporium in Parson's Green

One thing I noticed early on in my time here was the popularity of wearing florescent yellow when cycling, doing construction work, or possibly even, knitting a sweater. It’s just everywhere.

A blurry shot of school kids on a walk with hi viz.

Why being swathed in what is locally known as, “hi-viz” is a source of such comfort to the locals, I’m not really sure. What I do know is that back on my home planet, my cycling jacket was black, and that the only thing to get me to consider wearing a bright yellow jacket was an REI super clearance sale.

In an effort to try to explain the sheer volume of it worn around London, I’ve attempted to document any and all Hi-Viz sightings throughout a given day.

Unfortunately, there’s often just too much.
The other day, I saw an entire class of schoolchildren walk by, each one wearing a reflective vest. Unfortunately, my blackberry was a bit slow, and I only got the tail end of the reflective entourage.

Thus, I’ve decided to give this another go, only this time, I plan to document all the discernable (to yours truly, at least) reasons why Londoners choose to don their Hi-Viz

So, I left my house, and between here and work (640am departure) with a stop at physiotherapy near the train I managed to snap a pic of:

1. Hi Viz on a Scooter

2. Hi Viz when collecting litter

3. Hi Viz on a motorcycle.

4. Hi Viz Delivering Papers

5. Hi Viz Potentially Repairing Scooters

6. Hi Viz tidying the train

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7. Hi Viz Having a Chat

8. Hi Viz Fixing the Pavement

9. Hi Viz on a folding bike

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10. Hi Viz at Breakfast

 

…and this is all before 9:00!

Blinded by Mess

Posted on by

Seriousness!

The English are pretty keen on health and safety. I have to go through two sets of fire doors to get to my desk at work. The trains kindly remind you to mind the gap. Workmen, cyclists, police officers, and anyone else who might go unseen wears a florescent yellow vest. The park is full of signs that threaten of the blinding power of poo.

According to these signs in Bishop’s Park, up to seven hundred people are blinded after coming into contact with dog mess each year.

My question is HOW? Seven hundred people blinded by dog feces is a lot!

These signs appeared with such frequency, I couldn’t help but wonder if the pedestrian paths had been the home to a regional dung-slinging competition.
or…
Were so many dog owners SO inconsiderate that that the path had turned into a fecal slip and slide, where innocent victims would slip and fall face first, only to emerge from the park blinded by poo?
or…
Did the Coucils of Fulham and Hammersmith join forces to create a blinding laser that fries out the retinas of careless, local dog owners?

Stumped, I asked Google.

As it happens, this seems to be just another example of how Health & Safety laws have gotten a bit out of hand.

According to the BBC, the threat of blindness is due to a form of toxocariasis. This article from June 2008 says that, “there are, on average, twelve cases per year.”

Whatever the reason, those signs are clearly working. The path was completely clean, despite there being numerous dogs out.

If you have any doubts about the existence of the signs, you can see the faint remains of the sunbleached logo of the Boroughs of Hammersmith & Fulham near the nail at the bottom. I’m mostly impressed that the sign contains what I believe are lines representing wafting odor. My husband claims that they represent steam. Either way, it represents a fine attention to detail.

Walker’s Cajun Squirrel Crisps

Posted on by

Just when I start thinking that maybe I’ve run out of supermarket amusements, another one presents itself.

We were wandering though a BP station when we stumbled across these Walker’s Cajun Squirrel flavored crisps (American: Chips). Having no self- preservation instinct, I insisted that we buy them immediately and investigate.

Upon closer inspection of the bag, we determined that the squirrel chips contain not squirrel, but “Squirrel Seasoning”, whatever that is. I gather it’s the rodent- equivalent of Cheez. The chips are also suitable for vegetarians, which was a bit of a disappointment.

Moving on, it was time for the eating of the Squirrel Chips.

They look pretty ordinary, not like they’re packed full of squirrel-y seasoning.

And how were they?

They’re pretty good. I’m not sure if that’s squirrel favor we were savoring, but whatever it was, we liked it.
Here’s my bro digging into them before catching his flight home:

Walker’s currently has a contest on for a new crisp flavor, among the contenders is this Cajun Squirrel, Fish & Chips, Chili & Chocolate, and a few others. One can read up and vote here.